Author Archives: cynthia

Flirting with King Frederick

It’s very difficult to write about an experience when you’re still in the thick of it, and not even sure if and how you will be able to find your way out. But here I am, trying to talk about … Continue reading

Posted in Memoir | 3 Comments

A Little Bit Stuck

I will always remember that the springtime was extravagantly beautiful, the hillsides outrageously yellow, everything in raucous bloom, and I was somehow separate from it all. I missed the cycles of the moon, the push and pull of tides, the … Continue reading

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Here in the Glistening Green

The rain has come. The picture above is not recent, but it does give a sense of the greenness of the world and the way the leaves in the orchard glisten. The current reality, however, is wetter, drippier, and not … Continue reading

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Grand Opening

Say the word cell. Cell. Say the word take. Take. Say the word death. Death. My silence is a noisy whoosh, a great amorphous inhalation. We are hurrying, waiting, enveloped by unfamiliar faces and smells, swept into the sprawling unglamorous … Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Memoir | Tagged , | 9 Comments

It’s So Personal

It’s my last Sunday with a tumor. Tomorrow morning we’ll be heading down to Los Angeles for a series of pre-op appointments, then we’ll spend what I am sure will be a delightful night in a residence adjacent to the … Continue reading

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Launch

It has become a ritual. We set the alarm, bundle up, go outside, and stand on the deck looking westward and up, sometimes feeling silly. Why are we so drawn to these spectacles in the sky that we rouse ourselves … Continue reading

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Things Hard To Contain

Sometimes I plan and think about a post before I blog. (Oh, that word, “blog”… it’s so ugly and dismissive.) Right now, though, I am typing quickly in a stream-of-consciousness way, maybe because this space has become a touchstone to … Continue reading

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She Hums Along

Walking down the hall to the shared bathroom in the morning with my toilet kit in hand, I had a déjà vu sensation that it was 1970, and I was living in a college dorm. When I entered the bathroom, two … Continue reading

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Just Beyond Yourself Is Where You Need To Be

We convened among redwood trees, four hundred participants who had come to listen, learn, and be present with one another. It was an experiment. Whoever was there were the right people, and whatever happened would be the only thing that … Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Finding Hope, Memoir, Travel | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Not There

 I live on two levels: here, which is a pretty nice place to be, and there, which is a thick morass of sadness and remorse about things in the past, strewn with jagged rocks of worry about what’s to come. … Continue reading

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